How to be a WAG: Media
The paparazzi are your friends, smile at them
Once you've secured your WAGhood, you'll have to get used to the fact that when you have sex you will "romp", when you have fun you will "cavort" and when you drink you will "quaff".
And from now on, whatever you do with your life you will be compared to Victoria Beckham.
Don't resent this! Media attention is oxygen to a WAG. Instead, think about how you can launch your own media career. Perhaps you could become the "face" of a discount pub chain or be given a column to expound on designer handbags in the magazine supplement of the News Of The World.
Follow all these rules to the letter and you'll only have yourself to blame if you're not gracing the pages of Heat magazine by this time next year. And if you do make it into the WAGosphere, then remember your roots, and please invite us to the wedding!
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